BFFs at 40?

I'm on this kick lately of wanting some new friends... Smart friends, funny friends, friends who have more to talk about than who slept with who(m?) and the hot guy at the gym... I'm 40 years old, for God's sake... Doesn't ANYBODY in Arizona know what "Spring Awakening" is?

My boyfriend, Jersey Boy, let's call him, is on the same kick. In his previous life in Denver, he was an A-gay. Not that he enjoyed it because he hated it. But, he was always going to some sort of social fete somewhere to raise money for some worthwhile cause. He refers to his previous boyfriend as the Mayor of Denver due to his serving on so many boards and knowing everyone in town.

But I know that, he too, longs for some conversation that doesn't necessarily revolve around reality TV.

I do know that I'm sounding like an incredible snob here and before I move on, dear reader, I have to tell you that I enjoy talking about hot guys, who's slept with whom (I'm pretty sure it's whom) and some reality TV. I just would like to talk a little more about... well, more. Even things I have no clue about, just to learn something new.

So, we want some new friends.

But, it's hard at our age and, in my opinion, in a city that prides itself on the concrete walls surrounding everyone's house. I want diversity. I want some women, some straight people, some young people and some old people.

And I do have to be careful. We, like many couples I know, have this fantasy of finding another gay couple to do everything with. Travel, cook, eat out, watch our dogs play together. But, it can be much like dating where you don't really want to rush things. How many times have you couples left dinner with another couple and said, "They're nice. We should hang out with them more," meaning "They're funny. Or they're smart. You talked to him a lot and I talked to the other one a lot, so maybe all four us will get along." It's just kind of a weird idea that we have that we'll ALL FOUR just love each other beyond belief. So, I've kind of given up on that idea.

But, I have to be careful because I'll sometimes find someone who I just think is great. And my immediate instinct is to come on too heavy. "Hey, do you want to be my best friend? I'll be your best friend. We'll do everything together and if he ever dumps you, you can just come on over and sleep in our guest room for a while. Let's all go to Europe together! How does that sound?"

You get the picture. And, just like dating, that puts people off. Friendships, like relationships, need to take their natural course and see where they go. After all, how many friendships have been RUINED after travelling together??

I often wonder if it's Phoenix. Is a place uniquely hard to make friendships? I often imagine us living us back in Atlanta or in a place like Austin and having dinner parties and movie nights and poker games... something other than Charlie's. Would it be easier somewhere else?

Or am I just too damn hot?