Funny how things happen

About three years ago, I was attending a work conference in New York, one which I truly tried to get out of. It was October and I really just wanted to stay home.

On the first night, we all gathered at the Bryant Park Grill in what has become my favorite place in Manhattan, the beautiful Bryant Park.

I didn't realize that sport coats were the theme that evening, so I enter the restaurant feeling completely underdressed. Almost immediately, a friend of mine who had recently started a new job in Denver assailed me.

"HEEEEYYY..." she screeched. "I want you to meet my board president! Two of my favorite people in one place!"

And there he stood... Hot Board Member... We chatted for a minute as my gaydar tried to adjust. I couldn't tell if this surly guy was playing on my team or not.

Dinner ensued as I sat at a large table with my screechy friend and her Hot Board Member and some other friends of mine. I noticed that we were all drinking wine, except for Hot Board Member.

Then, in typical theatrical fashion, a friend of mine and British artistic director of a theatre in Chicago announces, "I'm feeling like we should go to a homosexual bar tonight." So, I casually say to Hot Board Member, "Are you going?" And he said, rather disdainfully, "Is it a gay bar?" I look confused and mutter, "Ummm... Yeah, I guess."

Off we trot to Therapy where I spent the night trying to talk to Hot Board Member while some not so hot board member grabbed me and tried to shove his tongue down my throat. I cab it back to the hotel to sleep for the next day.

In the conference room that I was to spend the next 48 hours, I say to my friend, "Have you seen the hot board member from Denver?" I literally couldn't take my eyes off him. Dark, muscly, Italian, Jersey born and bred I could tell... He was so damn cute... and I knew I didn't have a chance. Not that I wanted one. I was trying to fix my failing relationship back home in Phoenix.

At the end of the day, we decide that about five of us would go to dinner. After a myriad of phone calls to solidify details, we meet at my friend's apartment for a drink. HBM is there when I arrive and I try to initiate small talk, but he doesn't seem too interested.

We go to dinner at The Eatery. Five of us cram into a booth in the bar to wait for a table. Then, suddenly, as if we were the only two people there, Hot Board Member yells across the table at me, "Hey... What kind of guys are you normally attracted to?" So, at least that answers that.

"Ummm... I don't know. I guess I usually like guys somewhat older." He holds up his index finger, signifying "that's one."

"I do like muscles on a guy." Two fingers go up.

"And I kinda like hairy guys." Three fingers go up, like a Boy Scout salute.

What the hell? Was he saying, "Bingo, baby, that's me. You just hit the jackpot," or was he saying, "I like that too, so smooth, younger, skinny guy, you don't stand a chance." I literally couldn't tell, but he was turning me the hell on.

One second later, again in front of all my friends, "Hey... Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

"Can you guys do other guys?"

In my head, I say, "Well, he obviously thinks he can," but I just look at him and say, "Yeah," half smiling and feeling ridiculously self-conscious. Is he asking because he wants to "do" me? And what's with that term, "do other guys?" Who says that? Doesn't he know the code phrase, "Are you guys open?"

We get called to the table and I do some fancy maneuvering to get to sit next to him. We share brief life stories. He tells me he's from New Jersey originally, but has lived in Denver for the last 30 years or so. He tells me his boyfriend is a prominent pediatrician in Denver and that he has two kids and was married to a woman for 20 years. This hot board member is getting hotter by the minute. And I'm feeling more and more scared that he is kind of flirting with me, something I don't deal with very well.

Suddenly, he interrupts... "You're so (pause, pause, as he searches for the word)... charming."

I stare at him, directly in the eyes, point my finger at him and say simply, without thinking, "Don't start with me." He laughs.

I'm thinking, "OK, Hot Board Member... Italian Jersey guy with the blackest hair I've ever seen and a striking resemblance to John Stamos... DON'T START THIS... I kinda like you... and I NEVER like guys... You're toying with me on a business trip, away from the hubby... and you're ridiculously cute and I feel like I might obsess over you when I get home and I need to fix my floundering relationship with the man I haven't had sex with for two years... Do not start something that neither of us can finish. DO NOT START WITH ME!"

Well, he didn't take the hint. Six months later, he's moving to Phoenix after his relationship ended and mine did too... He's to be my roommate... ONLY... while he fills in for an employee of a friend of mine who is on maternity leave. He'll be here four months, at the most, while he looks for employment somewhere else in the country... He has interviews in Dallas, Charleston, Omaha, Tulsa.

Two and a half years later, he has a great job in Phoenix, we've bought a house we love, built a pool and gotten a dog.

And he's become the love of my life and my family. I'll never be without him.

Life is funny.